I have not dropped of the planet, although I feel like I have

well, i finally remembered my password and can give anyone who is interested a short update on where the hell i have been. starting this past summer, i began to have some wierd, but not doctorable symptoms. i guess they really started a long time ago, but it wasn't until i could not get out of my car and walk in the house after work that i figured something was wrong. then in october i hurt my back at work - horrible pain - but figured i would go to the doc and he would fix it. went to the doc and he sent me to a neurosurgeon who ran tests and mri's. i have 4 bulging discs and some denegerative discs and a spinal cord compression. this happened as a result from my lifting boxes and setting up stores at work. but then i had other symptoms along with this like paralysis and numbeness in my left leg and foot and my back would not heal. after 6 weeks i still could not walk well and my speech was deteriorating. i have never before stuttered, but now i could not get a simple sentence out without messing it up. i was walking like i had a huge tree trunk - well you know where. so now the doc says i have a congenital defect which was aggravated and elevated by my job - great - ok - fix it!. but then he runs some blood tests - specifically to check for low b12 levels - and when that comes back - he looked at me and said - how the hell are you even walking - i took this to mean that my b12 level was significantly low. he told me that my b12 levels were low enough to cause significant central nervous system damage and temporary paralysis. so now he says not only do i have a dangerously low b12 level and will have to get a shot once a month for the rest of my life, but i also have something called chiari malformation type 2 -and that causes syringomyelia. i copied and pasted this info

The Chiari Malformation is considered a congenital malformation, although there have been some reported cases of an acquired form. It is characterized by a small or misshapen posterior fossa (the compartment in the back of the skull), a reduction in cerebrospinal fluid pathways and a protrusion of the cerebellar tonsils through the bottom of the skull (foramen magnum) into the spinal canal. The tonsils would normally be round but often become elongated as they protrude down the spinal canal. Diagnosis can be difficult because not all patients will have the classical sign of deeply herniated tonsils. Many people with the Chiari Malformation experience no symptoms. When symptoms are present, they usually do not appear until adolescence or early adulthood, but can occasionally be seen in young children. The majority of patients complain of severe head and neck pain. Headaches are often accentuated by coughing, sneezing or straining. Patients may complain of dizziness, vertigo, disequilibrium, muscle weakness or balance problems. Often fine motor skills and hand coordination will be affected. Vision problems can also occur. Some patients experience blurred or double vision, difficulty in tracking objects or a hypersensitivity to bright lights. Physical examination may reveal nystagmus (involuntary eye movements). Other symptoms include tinnitus (buzzing or ringing in the ear), hearing loss or vocal cord paralysis. Patients may have difficulty swallowing, frequent gagging and choking and, in some cases, sleep apnea may be present. The Chiari I Malformations may also be associated with other disorders such as hydrocephalus (build up of fluid in the ventricles of the brain) or Syringomyelia. Syringomyelia is a disorder in which cerebrospinal fluid enters the spinal cord, forming a cavity known as a syrinx. It is recommended that patients diagnosed with a Chiari Malformation have the entire spine imaged to rule out the presence of a syrinx, since it may be a consideration in treatment and prognosis.
Syringomyelia, often referred to as SM, is a chronic disorder involving the spinal cord. For reasons that are only now being understood, cerebrospinal fluid enters the spinal cord, forming a cavity known as a syrinx. (Doctors sometimes use other words such as cyst, hydromyelia or syringohydromyelia) This syrinx often expands and elongates over time, destroying the center of the spinal cord. As the nerve fibers inside the spinal cord are damaged, a wide variety of symptoms can occur, depending upon the size and location of the syrinx. There are two major types of SM. In most cases it is related to a congenital malformation involving the hindbrain (cerebellum) called a Chiari I Malformation, named after the physician who first described it. The symptoms of SM are numerous and a person may have various combinations of different symptoms. Symptoms tend to develop slowly, although sudden onset may occur with coughing and straining. Some common symptoms include: loss of sensitivity, especially to hot and cold, muscle weakness and spasticity, motor impairment, loss of bowel and bladder control, as well as osteoporosis and scoliosis. The majority of patients suffer from headaches and chronic pain.
Treatment
In cases involving a Chiari Malformation, the main goal of surgery is to provide more space for the cerebellum at the base of the skull and upper cervical spine. This often results in a flattening or disappearance of the syrinx as the normal flow of cerebrospinal fluid is restored. In some cases it may be necessary to insert a shunt into the cavity, rerouting the cerebrospinal fluid from the spinal cord. A successful surgery will stabilize the condition and perhaps gain a modest improvement in symptoms, but over time surgery is not always successful and multiple surgeries may be necessary.

SO BASICALLY ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS - ALL I DID WAS FUCKING HURT MY BACK AT WORK!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS ALL THIS OTHER SHIT!!!!! - ok, done yelling and swearingso now i have to wear a hard collar neck brace whenever i am up doing something - i did go back to work for about 2 weeks right after christmas but was taken out again as disabled because i can't stand for very long and with working retail - you have to stand. it is frustrating because i still have all the strength - at least in my arms - that i did before, but i have very limited fine motor skills - if you have not already noticed there are no caps in this post that i have typed or anything else that would require me to hit more than one key at a time THANK GOR FOR SHIFT LOCK AND SPELL CHECK- i also have at times lost the ability to walk for no reason - 1 minute i can walk and the next i can't but an hour later i am ok again. i don't drive much anymore because i don't know when my leg is going to give out and don't want to be somewhere that i can't get home, plus my driveway is on a hill and i can't get the emergency brake down in my truck, let alone trying to get out of the truck lol.
so what are my options - basically brain surgery - NOT GONNA HAPPEN. the doc has given me 6 months to work with the b12 shots to see if there is any significant difference that will leave me functional. he does not know how bad the nerve damage is at this time. my back still has not healed and hurts as much as the day i did it. however, the b12 shots are kinda cool lol - there are no side effects from them and they can kinda make you feel slightly buzzed - not the bad narcotic buzzed - but the enjoying a few glasses of good wine with dinner buzzed. after 6 months we can see which symptoms have subsided and determine the amount of nerve damage and go from there. if i am functional enough i will wait to have surgery until my kids are older - if i am not - well i will deal with that then
so what's going on at home with this - well the kids are frustrated cuz i have good days and bad - some days i can walk and talk and seem perfectly normal and others i need help with everything from getting in/out of the shower to simply talking on the phone. the girls have been helpful and so has justin with household things, the other 2 try but are to young to understand - the husband on the other hand - not so good. i could fall on the ground in front of him and he says - what do you want me to do - i don't know if he is as scared and frustrated about this as i am and does not know how to handle it or if he is just an ass - for those of you who know him - i'll let you decide lol - wendy if you read this - feel free to respond lol lol lol
so basically the b12 has helped somewhat with the memory loss and speech, but that is about it - but he is giving it 6 months to work and my next shot is next week. i am also scheduled for a brain mri next week to measure the exact amount of herniation. i sit on the computer, play pogo - sweet tooth 2 yeah-, read alot - running out of books lol, and watch tv - have you ever noticed some of the whacked out recipes that make it to food network lol - i can't scrapbook or crochet cuz the fine motor skills are not there yet, but that does not stop me from buying lots of scrapbook stuff. i had my first b12 shot on 12/21 and by christmas eve was able to help the girls make some cookies. we made peanut butter cookies, peanut blossoms, chocolate covered cherry cookies, white chocolate chunky cherry cookies - a paula dean recipe - ginger snaps and sarah made chocolate covered pretzels. i'll post some pics later - i'm tired and need a nap and some vicodin